Being flexible

Routine and Flexibility: Two sides of the same coin?

COVID had spread across the world, and one by one, everything around us started shutting down swimming pools, gyms, schools until eventually there was a complete lock down. We were stuck inside our homes, disconnected from all the activities that once kept us busy. It was a strange time. Since I was still studying then, I had almost no real obligations. I would stay up late gaming or binge-watching shows, sometimes sleeping at 4 or 5 in the morning, occasionally even after sunrise. I woke up whenever my body decided to wake up. There were no alarms, no schedules, no responsibilities just doing whatever I felt like doing. Eating whatever I wanted. Living without structure. Over time, I could clearly see my health deteriorating because of this completely chaotic lifestyle.

By mid-2021, when things finally started calming down, I was desperate to go outside again. As restrictions slowly lifted, I began taking walks early in the morning. Eventually, I started going to a small, secluded gym late in the evenings. Those were the only places I really went outside my house. With nothing else to do, that became my routine day in, day out for almost an entire year. Ironically, the predictability came from having no other options. That was also the period when I lost 15 kilograms. Losing weight was never even the goal, but the routine was so consistent that it became a side effect of simply living better.

But things took a turn once I started working in 2022. Suddenly, I had deadlines to meet and real responsibilities that couldn’t be put off. Combined with the constant uncertainty brought on by layoffs, work kept me on edge and gradually became my only priority. I was doing a good job, but I was only doing my job. I tried to maintain an active lifestyle, but over time the pressure of looming deadlines pushed those priorities aside. Activities that once felt natural and enjoyable began to feel forced. Even when I gathered the willpower to do something, my mind would still be occupied with thoughts of work and everything I could have been doing instead.

Fast forward to 2026, and things at work have only become more challenging. As I’ve moved up the career ladder, I’ve taken on greater responsibilities, started making more money, and had more at stake. The problem has only intensified. Over the years, there have been multiple occasions when I managed to build a great routine for a month or so, only for something unexpected to disrupt it. The cycle has continued, although I have at least managed to reach a stable baseline. Even so, making meaningful progress from here often felt impossible.

The root of the problem is that my brain becomes attached to a routine, and once that routine is disrupted, I lose control of my day. I slip into autopilot mode, where I'm simply focused on putting out the fire directly in front of me. Instead of adapting, I convince myself that I just need to wait for the disruption to pass before I can get back on track. Eventually, I do rebuild my routine but only until the next obstacle comes along and the cycle repeats itself.

Although routines are valuable, modern life is inherently unpredictable. An urgent deadline appears out of nowhere, you get sick, or a friend invites you out to dinner. One obvious solution is to simply say "no." That approach often works, and sometimes it's necessary. But if I optimize too aggressively for consistency, I end up protecting my routine at the expense of everything else. Relationships, opportunities, and spontaneous experiences start feeling like threats rather than meaningful parts of life. A quote from a show I watched has always stayed with me:

“The thing about saying no: You say it too much... people just stop asking.”

— Modern Family

The quote resonates with me because it highlights the cost of treating every disruption as something to avoid. A routine is supposed to support life, not replace it. The challenge isn’t learning how to say no it’s learning how to absorb the occasional yes without letting everything else fall apart.

So whats the solution, well that gets to why I am writing this blog…..“Flexibility”. I've realized that I get bothered whenever my routine is disrupted or a day doesn't unfold the way I expected it to. For some people, it might be not having their usual morning coffee. For me, it's something different, but the underlying problem is the same. We introduce a certain rigidity into our lives and begin treating these deviations as far bigger than they actually are. Missing a morning run shouldn't feel like a disaster, go for a run in the evening instead. We need to be less rigid and more flexible in how we organize our lives. The reality is that circumstances will never be perfect. Rather than waiting for ideal conditions, we need to adapt and make the best of what's in front of us.

The biggest obstacle preventing me from being flexible is my tendency to believe that every condition needs to be perfect before I can do anything effectively. Instead of focusing on what needs to be done, I spend too much time thinking about everything that's making me uncomfortable at that moment. Ironically, this is one area where I think less thinking is often better. Sometimes it's best to act on the first reasonable thought that comes to mind. If I have a 20-minute break, my first instinct might be to go for a quick walk and make up for a missed morning workout. But then the overthinking begins: What if I get sweaty? What if someone messages me while I'm away? What if it's not worth the effort? More often than not, I end up doing nothing during those 20 minutes. In hindsight, I would have been better off trusting that initial instinct and simply getting it done.

With all that said, this isn’t an easy change to make. Life is ultimately about balance knowing when to push back against disruptions and when to accept them and adapt. Not every situation can be controlled, and the more we resist that reality, the more frustrated we become. Part of becoming flexible is learning to be comfortable with discomfort and uncertainty.

I’ve also realized that flexibility becomes easier when you have options. Most experiences won’t change your life, but every once in a while you’ll discover something that works for you. And once you do, you’ve added another tool to your toolbox. For example, I’ve never liked the idea of forcing myself to run no matter what. If it’s pouring rain outside, I don’t see much value in stubbornly sticking to the original plan just for the sake of consistency. Recently, I started skipping, and I’ve found it to be a great alternative. Other times I play tennis or go for a swim instead. The reason I have these options today is because I was willing to try them in the first place. Had I insisted that running was the only acceptable form of exercise, every disruption would have felt like a setback.

The same principle applies beyond fitness. We only discover what works for us by trying things that initially feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable. Most won’t stick, but some will. Over time, those experiences give us more ways to adapt when life doesn’t go according to plan. Being flexible doesn’t mean lowering your standards or abandoning your goals. It means being willing to adjust the path while keeping the destination the same.